Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Boo for the big G

“Who gossips to you, will gossip of you” 

Sad Realization #4 that  I had today:
If this  quote is true then I am probably being talked about more than I thought.
ahh geeze.

What do you do when conversation with a friend or a family member turns to other's affairs and speculations about other  people?

As much as I would love to say that I am the one who is quick to recognize and shut it down ASAP, I'm not her..YET.
I recognize it- whether it's me starting it or listening to it..and oftentimes I just try to pretend it's not considered "gossip".  We  rationalize it as "concern" or somehow we think we have this right to psycho analyze people in front of others (or at all). I've never really seen this turn out well. 

Then there's that moment when one or both of you in the middle of the "concerned" conversation realizes what's being said and it turns awkward.
Unless you never acknowledge what's going on then more damage is invariably done but mostly to you.
By entertaining it you certainly communicate that it's acceptable.

A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue. A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret” (Proverbs 11:12-13).

 After the above  quote hit me in the face today I thought
a. I don't like being speculated about
b. people judging me isn't my favorite
c. I need to shut it down as soon as it happens/ don't let it happen  and treat others as I would like to be treated per the Golden Rule in the Bible.

It's not an honoring or becoming  thing to be the one who fishes for details in "unique" ways or assesses others negatively, who can't keep secrets or who is prone to speculate about other's lives, motives or hearts. 
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (Ephesians 4:29).

I don't want to be that woman..
The one who can'be be trusted because her mouth is always running. But rather one who is an example of encouragement and joyful words.

{Joy...that's another post. It's something I am working on- 
In His presence there is JOY forevermore}

Many friendships have been ruined over a misunderstanding that started with gossip. My friendships are too precious for this!

Those who guard their tongues keep themselves from calamity (Proverbs 21:23). 

Spare yourself the calamity of misunderstanding, hurt feelings and a bad reputation and shut it down!
I'm going to try to do the same!

1 comment:

  1. I totally get it. I learned the harsh reality about if someone gossips to you, they also gossip about you, years ago. It takes practice to bite your tongue, but if you're determined, you can do it.

    Because I am deaf, I don't talk to anybody else very much at work because of communication barriers, so people think I'm a safe one to gossip to. It is disheartening, but at the same time, the juicy gossip I hear makes the day go by faster... its a hard place to be in!